STROKE!!!

On March 4, 2010 my husband, Jimmy, went to bed at 11:00 p.m. One and one-half hours later, at 12:30 a.m. March 5, 2010, I heard a "thud"! Immediately I saw Jimmy was not on the bed. An eternity passed until I got to his side of the bed. I found him on the floor. He was facing away from me. His right leg and right arm were bent at the knee and elbow respectively.

After checking that no bones were broken, I tried to lift him to a sitting position and that's when I saw his face. His lips were not straight...a classic sign of a stroke. Gently, I laid his head on a pillow and called 911.

By the time they got here (it felt like forever) I knew he not only had a stroke, but a very severe one. My eloquent husband was unable to speak coherently and his right side appeared to be paralyzed. The EMT's were able to get him onto the chaise in our bedroom and start an IV. They immediately called for transport to the hospital.

As I drove to the hospital in the early morning of March 5, I knew our lives would never be the same. A CT Scan and an MRI confirmed my worst fear. Jimmy had suffered what is called an MCA, Middle Cerebral Artery Stroke.

The middle cerebral artery is the largest branch of the internal carotid. The artery supplies a portion of the frontal lobe and the lateral surface of the temporal and parietal lobes, including the primary motor and sensory areas of the face, throat, hand and arm and in the dominant hemisphere, the areas for speech. The middle cerebral artery is the artery most often occluded in stroke.

He is paralyzed on the right side of his body and his ability to speak is severely impeded. One has no way of knowing there is an occlusion in this part of the brain. He was in good health and there was no indication that he was at risk for a stroke.

I started writing this shortly after Jimmy had his stroke. Every evening, when I would return from the hospital, my intention was to finish this. However, by the time I returned home I was exhausted and simply could not bring myself to the computer and write about what had happened. It was simply too terrible.

For 2 months Jimmy was in rehab, then ICU, back to rehab, then to hospice and finally to a skilled care facility. He was admitted on a Friday, late in the day. The following Wednesday morning, April 28, 2010, at a few minutes after 7, I received a phone call from the facility and then Jimmy's Dr. informing me that at some point during the night, he had aspirated and was now in the ER at the hospital.

I remember sleep walking to put on clothes and get in the car to race to the hospital. When I arrived, my poor husband had a very large oxygen mask on his face that was cutting into his cheeks. The straps could not be adjusted. It was evident he was having a very difficult time breathing even with the oxygen. About an hour after I arrived at the hospital a nurse from hospice came down to get some information and tell me he was being transported back to hospice.

Jimmy had very significant "advanced directives", much more than a simple DNR. Our Doctor called me and said "it is time to follow Jimmy's wishes". I didn't want to hear this and I knew his sister and daughter didn't want to hear this either. However, the Doctor was right. It was time to follow Jimmy's directions. After all, that is why we write out how we want our lives to end.

The stroke left him with no dignity...it was time to give him back his dignity. On Sunday morning, May 2, 2010 at 9:10 a.m. Jimmy died in my arms listening to our song..."My One and Only Love". Just before he died, as the song began to play, he opened his eyes and looked into mine. He smiled at me and then gently slipped away.

I miss him every moment of every day. I long to hear his voice, his laugh or smell the garlic he loved to saute...He was a wonderful, kind, incredibly intelligent man. He loved his family and his life. Even though he is not physically with me, I feel his presence all around me and am so grateful that we had almost 11-1/2 years together as friends and then as husband and wife.

For the almost 5-1/2 years I was married to Jimmy and lived with him, we shared so very much. Not just cooking and entertaining our friends and family but reading to one another or listening to an Opera or Elvis. We were best friends. Selfishly I would give anything to have him with me for many more years. However, I do believe I had the best of him.

Missing Jimmy,

Neelie

Little Things

I've said it many times...don't blink! Life changes in the blink of an eye and if we are not present in our life, aware of life around us, we are going to miss many important life events. Life is too short and we must live in the now! It is an imperative.

For those with children, all one has to do is think about how many times we said to ourself "I wish he/she was walking, my life would be easier" or "if only he/she could talk and tell me what is wrong". Every time we say these things to ourselves, we are rushing time. In essence, we are rushing our life away. Our children will talk and walk much more quickly then we can imagine and ultimately walk right out of our home.

We'll stand at the window on that day and wonder "where did the years go"? We are so busy living our lives that we rarely take a moment to breathe in a particular moment and hold it in our memory forever. These little memories are what makes a life. The people whom we love, the things they do, those instances of joy they bring us are all what makes a life.

Don't be so busy that you forget to look at the little things in your life. You will be grateful later. Your memory will be filled with the joy...it is the little things that make our lives full.

Cherishing the little things,
Neelie

The End Of A Decade

How is it possible that the first decade of the 21st century is already gone! I keep telling you, Life Is Short...Eat Dessert First. I hope you ate a lot of dessert during these 10 years. The pundits are all asking what we're going to call this decade. They make reference to the "roaring twenties"...Other than that, I don't recall hearing a name for a decade. I remember the 50's, the 60's, etc...

Personally, I think this decade should be known as the "The Decade of Greed and Fraud". It seems to be a good name. It started with Enron, quickly followed by Tyco and World Com. Thousands of hard working people lost their jobs, their pensions and years of loyal service because the CEO's Ken Lay, Dennis Kozlowski and Bernie Ebbers were very busy "cooking the books". As I recall Ken Lay's wife cried because she was going to have sell a couple of homes. I think they owned 5!

Dennis Kozlowski felt his $6,000.00 shower curtain was a necessity and Bernie Ebbers made the Top Ten List of Crooked CEO's! These 3 men seemed to set the stage for the rest of what happened in the first decade of the 21st century. We have watched as Freddie MAC and Fannie MAE along with all the sub-prime mortgage lenders have lent money to people who could never pay it back, to buy homes they truly could not afford!

We have fallen victim to the Bernie Madoff's and others like him who lived LARGE while they stole our money. Our government has decided that there are companies that are "too big to fail" and have therefore given them taxpayer money to keep them afloat. They took the taxpayer's money and threw themselves huge parties and paid out huge bonuses! The bonuses were to keep the employees that ruined their businesses from jumping ship.

Is it just me??? I wouldn't want to retain people who helped my company lose all that money. Nor would I have approved the government bailout. That's what bankruptcy is for! We now have AIG saying they have no intention of paying back the money so the government will own them or at least the lion's share. Chrysler has also said they are not paying anything back...

I do believe this decade has been all about greed and fraud and that's what we should call it! I just bet you'll agree with me.

Let's hope 2010 brings us all health, happiness, prosperity, joy and an abundance of love. We should pray for peace and hope the greedy get what they deserve!

Happy New Year,
Neelie

Once Upon A Life

Last year, at this time, my husband and I discovered that, we, along with many others had lost our life savings in the biggest Ponzi scheme this country has ever seen. We were certain that we had enough money to live on for the rest of our lives with plenty left over for the children. Surprise! In addition to losing all of our money, our 2 year old home had lost more than 1/2 it's value. Therefore, selling it was not an option.

One's first reaction is complete shock and then disbelief and denial. Denial is such a good place to live. I chose to live there for a couple of days. Soon, I realized, denial was not going to pay our bills. Of course, I had no idea how I was going to pay our bills. We were accustomed to living a very comfortable lifestyle with all the toys that go with it. Now, we were going to have to live on our social security checks.

How in the world would we do that? I quickly learned. Fortunately, for most of my life I've collected Lalique and Baccarat. After taking pictures of my beautiful pieces, I posted them for sale on eBay. The pity is that I hadn't learned how to sell on eBay prior to posting all these pieces of art. Unfortunately they sold for very little, however, it was more than we had coming in and the people who bought my little treasures, I believe, love them as much as I did.

Being a quick study, my learning curve for eBay didn't take as long as one would think. We were able to live from eBay sales for the first 4 months of the year. I also had beautiful jewelry. My hope had always been for the girls in my life...granddaughters, daughter in law, step daughter, adopted daughter and her daughters and my niece to inherit my jewelry.

That isn't going to happen. It was all sold! However my foresight served me well. You see, I have always believed that I didn't want to wait until I was dead for my girls to receive the jewelery I loved. So over the years I've given them various pieces of jewelry and love seeing them wear something of me. Once again, we had money to pay the bills.

We have also had the generosity of family to help us out financially. There are not enough ways to say "thank you" to the people in our life that have been so open and kind to us. Since January I have been looking for a job. We know that there are very few openings out there. However, I believed that with the years of experience I have, it wouldn't be difficult. It's not difficult...it's impossible! 20+ years in my own business, doing every job, hasn't seemed to help! Searching for a position is very different today than it was in the "olden" days.

One cannot call to make an appointment. One has to email a cover letter and resume. I am convinced that if your letter and resume do not have neon lights and dancing girls, it doesn't get seen. Yet, I still send out my letters and resumes and go to every retail store in the area to apply for a job. My experience includes everything from Laboratory Technician (abnormal hematology) to public speaking...from packing and shipping boxes in my factory to selling my products at trade shows...teaching classes in customer service (one can tell I no longer teach these classes, because there is no customer service anymore) to answering phones. I've been an accountant, an assistant controller and a plain bookkeeper.

There is no job too big or too small. I will do anything and have, as long as it was legal. People say "you're overqualified". I believe I am "fully qualified". It is now a year since we realized our investments were gone! This is a tough month. I haven't run out of things to sell. It's just that my Judith Leiber and Kathrine Baumann bags aren't being auctioned for another 5 days.

If you're interested go to www.ha.com and do a search for Judith Leiber or Kathrine Baumann. You'll see the bags I have left. The beginning prices are great for these exquisite pieces of art. Hopefully, they will all sell for a lot of money and in January we will be able to pay some bills. Until then, I will be grateful for my health and that my husband is healthy and count my blessings.

Thanks for listening,

Eileen

Pass The Mirror

How did I get here? This is a question I ask myself daily when I pass the mirror. Yesterday I was 18. This May I was 65...how did it happen overnight? I have a very vivid memory that has been with me since New Year's Eve 1949. My parents had a party at our home.

My bedroom became the coat closet for the guests. Mother or dad were in and out every few minutes early in the evening dropping off coats. With each coat was this statement, "can you believe how quickly this year has gone?" I was 5! The year didn't go quickly...it took forever. The last Rosebowl parade was a million years ago.

Have you noticed when children are young and one asks their age they always use fractions. How old are you little girl/boy? I'm 4-3/4 or 5-1/2. How many people over 30 have you ever heard use a fraction when telling their age? It would never occur to us to say "I'm 32-1/2". The wonder has gone out of growing older or the need to get there more quickly.

Funny how, as we get older that changes. As a pre-teen I couldn't wait to be a teen-ager. Once I became a teen-ager I couldn't wait to finish high school and go off to college and freedom and my 21st birthday. I know I went to sleep one night when I was 18 and the next thing I knew I received a piece of mail that said "Information for Medicare"!

Medicare information. Certainly not for me. How could this have happened? When did this happen? Aren't I still a kid? Okay my children are in there 40's but whose fault is that...not mine! I blinked and all of sudden they were older than me with children of their own who call me Bubbie. All I did was blink.

I know that if I could just keep my eyelids from blinking the years would not continue to fly by. One of the worst side effects of getting older is that as we age the years go even faster. How fair is that? Just when we are starting to get it right the time goes so quickly that one barely has time to get out of bed, shower and start the day and it's time to go to sleep.

It would be wonderful if we not only could stop blinking but didn't require sleep! We would then have a full 24 hours of each day to now use all the knowledge we have spent years aquiring. So I ask again, "how did I get here"? I know, you'll answer, the same way we all do!

Of course, the good part is that we are getting older and when we wake up we are looking at the grass from this side. The other benefits are the ability to finally say what we truly think, kindly, of course. Honesty can be so gratifying. We also start feeling better about who we are. No longer do we worry about how the world sees us. We can barely see ourselves without a mirror that has a magnification of 16 x or higher. I believe this is one of God's gifts to us. If one looks in the side of the mirror that has no magnification we cannot see what time has done to our face.

On the one hand I say "don't blink"...on the other it appears that aging is not so bad. We now have license to say what we feel and to think much more highly of ourselves. If only the birthdays didn't get here so fast. Remember, life's short, eat dessert first!

Not blinking,

Neelie

Addiction

Websters Dictionary defines addiction as "a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal ; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful". It is a noun. I AM AN ADDICT!

No, I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol, my addiction is much more insidious! I am addicted to a game on Facebook. It is called "Farm Town". One actually has a farm! It must be planted and the crops reaped and then replanted to make money to buy seeds to plant, buildings and flowers and trees and when one reaches a certain level, one can put in a river.

I have never had an addiction...probably not true. I was addicted to my ex-husband...another story for another day! Now, I am truly addicted...I have a compulsive need for this game. It has become habit forming. I do feel withdrawal symptoms when I am not tending my farm.

My friends and some of my family have come right along with me and we are all addicted! Actually, we are all certifiable!!! None of us can stay away from our farms. We are neighbors, we go to the marketplace to sell our harvests and plead for work to make more money to buy more things for our farms.

We are obsessed with reaching the next level or 2 or 3 so we can enlarge our farms, or buy a better farmhouse or a barn or a watermill or a watertank or a greenhouse or a gazebo!!! We beg for plowing jobs to earn experience points which help us move up a level. As of this moment, the developers of the game only go to level 34. I have a feeling that will change. It seems every week they are adding something new.

One can only imagine the revenue they are making from the advertisers who clamor for a spot next to our farms in the hope that we will click on their ad. It makes me sad that 10 years ago I didn't go to school to learn how to write programs and create something as ingenious as this game. "Farm Town" could be used by college professors to teach business skills. It is that complex while being a simple game to play.

I have made acquaintances around the world because of this game. I have never spent as much time at the computer, other than for work, than I am right now. It is cunning, it gets into your psyche and you are "caught". I'd love to finish this column, however my raspberries are ready to be harvested so I must go.

Reaping what I sow,

Neelie

Much Ado About Nothing - Redux

I received a comment on my last post "Much Ado About Nothing". The person who commented said, "Would your outrage be this great if the Governor was a democrat? Just asking." Of course, this was sent by Anonymous! Everyone knows who this is...someone who lacks the courage to use their own name or their nom de plume!

I answered, "I am neither a Democrat or a Republican". When I was 21 (the age one had to be to vote in the old days), my place of residence was Manchester, NH. In New Hampshire, when I was 21, one could register as an independent and still vote in the primary for everyone running.

Here I am, many years later and still an independent! I cannot ever remember voting along party lines. My vote has always gone to the person I felt would do the best job. I find this criteria is more difficult these days. If I had my way, no incumbent in Congress would be voted back into office.Actually, I do have my way...at the ballot box! That is where I exercise this right.

The writer of this comment obviously missed the entire point of the last post. It wasn't about his infidelity (who cares). It was, in fact, about dereliction of duty! That doesn't matter if one is a Democrat or a Republican. Imagine, if you would, taking 5 days off from a job and not telling anyone where you were going to be or asking one of your co-workers to fill in for you. Do you believe you would have a job when you returned? Of course not.

Now imagine that you are the Chief Executive of a State...the Governor. You leave your office, you do not tell your staff, your Lieutenant Governor or even your wife that you are leaving the state and will be gone for about 5 days. Let's continue playing "just pretend"...a category 4 hurricane has hit your state. Who is going to make the necessary decisions to deal with this emergency? It is, in fact, the job of the Governor to make these decisions...The same Governor who was AWOL two years ago when there were wildfires in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

The entire point of my last column was this. One cannot expect to be Chief Executive of a State or a corporation or Commander In Chief and simply disappear without letting the next responsible person know that you are going away! So dear commenter...read the column again. Perhaps you'll get it this time!

Independent forever,

Neelie

Much Ado About Nothing

Once again a politician is unable to keep his zipper up. However, that should not be what people focus on. We are still such a puritanical society that peccadillo's such as this are more common place than people realize and should not be the focus. When one is unfaithful, only the parties that are hurt should be involved...not the rest of us.

Our outrage should be over the fact that this man, the governor of a state, left that state without anyone knowing where he was. Governor Sanford was gone a minimum of 5 days, leaving South Carolina without a Chief Executive. If a Category 4 Hurricane hit South Carolina, there would have been no Chief Executive to mobilize the people necessary for an emergency.

Governor Sanford was missing in action 2 years ago when wild fires burned up Myrtle Beach. Again the state was without a Chief Executive. No one was home to send out the National Guard or deploy the firefighters necessary to quell this conflagration.

Governor Sanford doesn't believe in telling anyone that he is not going to be "home". He doesn't think it's necessary to put the Lt. Governor in charge in case of an emergency. Additionally, now that Governor Sanford has told the world that he, in fact, met with his par-amour many more times than first admitted. Has anyone asked, who paid for these trips? Methinks the taxpayer.

This is the outrage! What politicians do privately should not affect us, unless their actions are criminal. Governor Sanford should not only resign, he should pay the state back for any trips he took on their dime. If not, he should be prosecuted.

Outraged for the right reasons,

Neelie

Wouldn't It Be Wonderful Or Not

On Sunday I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". It is impossible to count how many times I've thought or said "how wonderful it would be to start out old and therefore have the knowledge we have as we've gotten older and then become younger"! The adage, youth is wasted on the young is so true!

This fabulous movie, based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald (who knew) shows us exactly what it is like to start out old and get younger as the years go by. In theory, it is a great idea...however it works fine until one is about 30 or 40. Then it truly goes horribly wrong.

I know I would not want to be a teenager again. The angst young girls go through (even today) is painful to even remember. We are never enough! Why is that? Boys don't seem to have the same lack of self-esteem that girls have. They seem to have everything under control. At least on the outside.

My 3 sons were more than self assured, they were confident as teens. I remember when Aaron was in high school. If he received a grade he felt was below what he believed he should have gotten, he had no qualms about going in to see the teacher and argue his point. In every instance, the teacher changed the grade to the one Aaron believed he had earned.

It made me quite proud to see him fight for what he believed he deserved. As a teen I would never have had that same ability or confidence! Girls seem to be under so much pressure. We always think we are too fat or too thin or too tall or too short...The experts say it's because of the pressure from advertisers who use seemingly perfect young women in their print ads or on the covers of magazines.

As I've gotten older I have developed a sense of myself. A confidence that allows me to walk into any room or situation and know that I'm enough. How wonderful that would have been when I was young. Perhaps I would be a different woman today! I don't know. Then again, I think I'm enough today.

Always changing,

Neelie

Life Goes On

This past week-end my cousin Shelley's granddaughter became a Bat Mitzvah. The party was in California. Jimmy and I could not be there, in spite of the fact that we truly wanted to go. All of the young cousins (my 2nd and now 3rd) have all grown up. They are beautiful and fun and I wish I could have been there with them.

A truth is that as we get older, we hold precious moments such as this, closer. We should have been there to celebrate with them. Our time here is so short, we should drink in every happy moment we can. We didn't drink!

Fortunately, Hillary and Julia took pictures and posted them on Facebook. It is not the same as being there with them all, but at least we get to see them and how they have grown up. Fun times are something we should never miss! We don't know when the next family celebration is coming or even if we will still be here to celebrate with everyone.

Life has taken a different direction this year and we have been unable to take part in the family events around the country. It is a pity! For as we know, tomorrow may not come. So I remind you (my readers) and me to never miss a party...at the very least, we should make every day a party. Then we won't miss any...

Party on,
Neelie

How Did I Get Here?

Two weeks ago I had a birthday. In fact, it was my 65th birthday! My question, therefore, is simple...how did I get here? It was only last week that I was 50. The week before that I was 35 and the week before that one was my 20th birthday.

I know I've said it before, but here goes "don't blink". I'm not certain how it happens that as we get older the years go faster, but they do! In fact, my last post was January 20, 2009 and here we are at June 11. Don't blink!!! Before I know it, it will be December 31, 2009 and another year will have come and gone.

It almost seems impossible that my chronological age is 65, for I only feel 18. It is only when I pass a mirror, which I do quite quickly these days, that I think "who is that woman"? I don't know the reflection in my mirror. The only image I know is the one in my head. The one at the top of this post.

How is it that I am old enough for Medicare? Truly, I don't know where the years have gone, I only know that I'm happy that when I wake up it's on this side of the grass...

Growing older gracefully,
Neelie

A New Day

A "New Day" has dawned in America. There is a spirit of patriotism in our country that I haven't felt since I was a teen ager. The inauguration of JFK provided this type of hope that we are seeing in every corner of America. Once again, the promise of the future is before us.

This President brings into the Whitehouse the hope of every black American. However, he also brings the hope of every white American, every Latino, every Asian...every ethnic group as well as anyone who are not "mainstream" Americans. Barack Hussein Obama brings a sense of hope unlike anything I have felt since I was 16 years old.

How lucky I am to have lived to see this day. How lucky this country is to be rid of the ineptitude of the Bush-Cheney years. The last 8 years have been so self serving to those people President Bush liked to call his "base". We see where that has gotten us. Anyone who believes we are not in a depression hasn't been looking for a job.

The state of Nevada is #1 in Foreclosures. The state I live in, Florida, is #2 in Foreclosures. This hasn't happened by accident. The greed and selfishness that took over this country is astonishing. I know that fruit rots from the top down. The same thing happens with companies and countries. We have had a "rotten" administration fraught with greed and avarice and it was spread far and wide.

Today is a "NEW DAY". We have finally been smart enough to elect a brilliant man who believes we are all personally responsible for what we do with our lives. He believes that in America anything is possible. He thinks before he speaks. He truly believes in the American dream. What a pity that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. isn't here for this day! How lucky are those who fought for the right of a person to be judged by their character and not the color of their skin to be alive today, to witness this auspicious day in history.

Today is a "NEW DAY". Filled with hope and promise for the future. Filled with promise for those less fortunate who live in the ghetto's of our country. Filled with promise for Gays who just want the same rights that straights have. Filled with promise for those suffering from incurable diseases. Filled with the promise of a future that begins with a man who believes that anyone can achieve anything they want if they persevere.

How lucky I am to have lived to see this "NEW DAY". God Bless you Mr. President. God Bless your family and may you achieve all your hopes and dreams and God Bless America and all who live here. We are, indeed, very excited about your future and ours.

Looking to the future,
Neelie

What's Love Got To Do With It?

I heard a line this week from a movie I'd never seen before. The words were so beautiful they made me cry. "Even If we'd never met I would miss you." To me, these are some of the most beautiful words I've ever heard, as well as the most sad.

Of course, everything made me sad this weekend. I spoke to my ex-husband on New Years Day. His mother had a stroke and was being kept alive, something she didn't want. Our eldest son called to tell me about Grandma and I called Ronnie. Instinctively, I knew he needed me. He did. We talked about his Mom and our children and our life.

We talked about when his Dad passed away. Ronnie and I were still together and I helped him maneuver the difficulties of losing someone we love. These last few days have been as hard for me as for Ronnie. One starts 2nd guessing. I shouldn't have left him. If I hadn't left him, I would be there to help him. Perhaps, our life together would be more peaceful. The 18th of this month would have been our 30th anniversary.

I've always said I didn't want to be an old woman who was still being shouted at and spoken to with disrespect. At the time, I did what I needed to do. But, God help me, I still miss him. He is burned so deeply in my soul that, at times, I miss him and I wish I didn't.

Love should be healthy and ours was on life support. He seems to be very happy with his current wife. He loves her. He is her 1st husband. She has no children, so no encumbrances and she owns a very successful business. He's happy! He said, "I'll never have to work again, she makes so much money."

I know he has a lot put away that he hid before and during the divorce so that I got nothing but away. That was ok...I needed to get away. So why do I still miss him? I don't know that I'll ever be able to answer that question. I just know there is a hole in my heart where he used to be and I don't know how to fill it. So for now, I'll be glad that he's happy and grateful that I was there for him, once again, when he needed me.

Lovingly,

Neelie

New Year's Eve 2008

Whew! What a year this has been. Between the politics and the economy we've had quite the ride. Life is meant to be exciting. I just think there has been an overabundance of excitement this year. Perhaps, I shouldn't call the "morons" in Washington exciting. They are anything but. If we thought we had a housing crisis...we now truly have a mortgage crisis. Congress has all of us in this country mortgaged to the neck and up and our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren...you get the picture.

The Dali Lama was asked, "what is the purpose of life"? His response was wonderful, "to be happy". That should be everyone's resolution for the new year...to be happy. Truly, happiness is where it all starts. When we have a smile on our face it starts endorphins in our brain and our happiness increases.

Even though many of us are feeling the pinch of this bad economy, we have to remember, we've survived many things...we will survive this too. Look at what happened in 2008. The people in our country "grew up". We elected a man President who happens to be black. As the great Martin Luther King said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character".

How wonderful, that we judged Barack Obama by his "character". We, once again, have a President-Elect who is able to speak in complete sentences. When I was growing up, not only did I think I would ever be on the verge of my 65th birthday, I never thought we would finally see people judged by their character. What an amazing year this has been! How incredibly lucky we are to have lived to see this day.

Therefore, in spite of the fact that we are mortgaged to the hilt...we have risen to the top of the mountain!

May we all have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. 2009 has great promise. May we all do our part.

Happy new year,

Neelie

"Unchained Melody"

If you haven't already noticed how quickly this year has gone, you will in just a few short days. 2009 is around the corner and most of us are still trying to catch up to 2008. However, if we wake up and realize we have a new day, a new 24 hours that belongs to us and we can live it anyway we choose, the year doesn't seem to go as quickly.

You must live each moment. Savor it as you would food you enjoy. Try to capture each moment and truly think about what makes it special. It can be as simple as seeing a bird fly across the sky or getting an email from an old friend that makes you smile. Do you know that it has been proven that if you sing or hum along with a song you like, your blood pressure will drop.

Think about what happens when we hear a song from our youth. We are automatically catapulted back to that moment when we 1st heard that song. For me that song is "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers. When I hear that song, I am back in 6th grade. A chubby girl with thick eyeglasses and horrible hair!

In my mind though, I'm beautiful and accomplished and all the things I dreamed I would be. It truly is time travel. One hears the music and immediately you are taken to the 1st moment you heard that music. The emotions that one associates with a piece of music are powerful. A song can make us happy or sad. It can take us back to our 1st love or our last love or to a love we have not yet met.

Always listen for the music...you just might take a "Sentimental Journey".

Living in the now,

Neelie

Courtesy At School Part 3

Our mystery man has identified himself. His name is Michael Shall. The wonderful thing is that Michael was able to identify so many of the other members of our 6th grade class. Many of whom I had forgotten. However, once their names are written or spoken, the memories of them come flooding back. Now that I know Michael's name I remember him.

How is it possible that yesterday we were in 6th grade and making a movie for Coronet Films called "Courtesy At School"...tomorrow we're going on Medicare! Life moves so quickly that if we forget to be present in the NOW, today is gone and tomorrow is here. Unfortunately, it isn't always easy to truly be present in our own life because of the wave that comes along and moves us forward or backward or throws us on our tush.

Now, of course, I wonder what has happened to the people that Michael identified. Bob Rauschenberg (all the girls had a crush on him), Dick Luck, Jim Concidine who was also in my high school home room. Then there was Bill Wilke and John Vosnos. John was famous because a member of his family owned a large restaurant in Morton Grove called, appropriately enough, Vosnos. Susie Demorest, Ida Lynn Erickson and Dwight Frindt. He's already made the blog!

Where are all these people, where have the waves of time taken them. I'll have to go to the Maine East Alumni Page and see if any of them are there. What fun it would be to see them all now. I know how very much I have changed since 6th grade. One wonders how much they've all changed.

Hopefully, they're lives have been wonderful and they have achieved whatever they dreamed about when we were 11 and 12 years old. If you are reading this and possibly know any of these people from East Maine School in Des Plaines, IL from 1955 to 1958. Please write to me and tell me what you know or who you know. Perhaps, we can catch up even if it's just an email.

Those years were special. We ran home to watch Bandstand and The Mickey Mouse Club. We had house parties, we were so innocent. The only thing we worried about, "The Bomb"! (Duck and cover) as if that would have helped Truthfully, even that didn't intrude on our lives. We were too busy being kids. I watch my granddaughters with some sadness because they are too busy trying to be grown up.

What they don't realize is that growing up happens so quickly and they've not taken the time to just be kids. Life was so much simpler because we didn't have the constant bombardment of the media. We didn't have computers, we had paper dolls and the boys had baseball. We played real games, not online games. We went to the park in the summer to play and in the winter to skate.

Boys were interesting but we weren't obsessed by them and they may have liked the really pretty girls like Margo with her long blond pony tail and beautiful blue eyes, but they still played games. Our school dances, what a joke! The boys on one side and the girls on the other side. Only the brave dared to dance with the opposite sex.

Yes, life was much simpler and growing up happens much to quickly and now Medicare next year. How did that happen and when did I get old? I don't know...because it is only when I look in the mirror that I realize I have. Grown old that is. It doesn't matter that I've aged because I've never grown up and do not plan to.

Getting younger every day,

Neelie

The Bailout - Part 2

Here we are again...our politicians spending our money to help companies that have such greedy people at the top who also happen to be inept, pleading for money to save them. Congress passed a "bailout" for the Big 3. Of course, it was not the amount they asked for. It was approximately 1/2 or $14 Billion.

Remember that old saw..."a billion here, a billion there and pretty soon we're talking about real money"! I paraphrase, however it is true. If one has been watching the news and reading all the little blurbs on the internet, we can see the story unfold. In the last couple of days we have seen committee members questioning the Assistant Secretary of the Treasury. The crime is that there were no oversights put into the original bailout of $700 Billion. No one put any conditions on how the money was to be spent. No one said, "you must do these things with this money" such as put it into new loans for people not take your execs out on terrific excursions or have $200,000.00 parties.

Here we are, 1/2 the money has been spent and no one seems to know on what. There is no accountability! It is so egregious, one can only shake one's head and question who these people are in Washington? Do they know nothing of business? If any one of us had a bank loan that we couldn't repay, our assets would be seized. The government wouldn't bail us out. Why, we don't employ enough people.

Here we go again. Congress passed a bill that would have given the Big 3 $14 Billion and would name a "Car Czar" who would have to have a blueprint by the end of March 2009 as to how these businesses would change. How ridiculous! The blueprint should be in place prior to the money being lent. After the fact makes no sense at all! Of course, this is Congress. Why should we expect them to be rational.

What most people do not know is what was tacked onto the end of the bill that Congress passed...a raise for Federal Judges!!! This is the same thing as the "pork" of $150 Billion that was added on to the $700 Billion in order to get it through the Senate. No one is telling us where that $150 Billion in "pork" is going. It's just politics as usual. Once again the taxpayer is paying.

The other ridiculous part of this is that Congress (both houses) get a yearly, automatic raise. I haven't heard any of the indignant questioners say they are not going to take their raise this coming year.

As of this moment in time, the Senate has rejected the Big 3 bailout plan proposed by the Congress. We can only hope this bill dies a slow, painful death. It is time for the Big 3 along with the UAW to wake up and smell the coffee. Bankruptcy would help the Big 3 get out from under the thumb of the UAW. I wonder how many of you who may read this know that anyone who is laid off from 1 of the Big 3 companies and is a member of the UAW receives 95% of their pay.

Then, of course, there is the pension program and the fact that the executives of the UAW make enormous salaries. Of course, the UAW did testify before Congress and has agreed to concessions beginning in 2011.

If ever there was a time for peaceful revolution in this country it is now. We've had a small one with the election of Barack Obama. A man who is putting together a terrific cabinet. He is very smart and I believe he wants change. Look at the mess he is inheriting. So now we need a big peaceful revolution! It is time to send a very strong message to our politicians that "business as usual" is not acceptable. I wrote to my Senators, Congressman and the President yesterday with regard to the Big 3. Of course, I write to them consistently.

Amazingly, the only one I ever hear back from is Senator Bill Nelson (D) Florida. He is an honorable, reasonable representative of the people. The rest of them should be thrown out of office and don't get me started on the Governor of Illinois. Therefore, I guess this is a good place to end this diatribe.

Waiting for the revolution,
Neelie

Courtesy At School Part 2

A couple of days ago I received this email...

"I was prominent in two scenes in the movie. I was the boy who caught the ball and ran into the infield and took the bat. Also, I was the boy speaking in front of the class when Tommy Hawkins interrupted me. Who am I?"

Of course, I immediately sent an email to Renee. You remember Renee who has been my friend since we were 11. Renee is my friend with a mind like a steel trap. Renee forgets nothing. So she watched "our" film, "Courtesy At School" and sent me a few names. I knew all the same people, so that didn't help at all. We looked for the boy (now man) who was speaking in front of the class. Could not see anyone that Tommy interrupted.

Unfortunately, this person did not send me his email address so I could not answer him. I did, however, respond to him asking him to enlighten me. To date, I have not heard from him again. I believe it was Emil Simich who caught the ball and took the bat. However, I'm lucky if I remember what happened an hour ago. How am I supposed to remember 53 years ago.

Susan Frazin had her books knocked out of her arms as she got off the bus. There are many faces I remember, Barbara Coan, Roberta Cass, Renee Rosenberg Krinsky, Camille Berg. Of the boys, Tommy Hawkins, Mike Dean, Bernie Mitchell, Max Moore, George Welter and Emil Simich. Unfortunately, too many years have passed since Mrs. Unfer's class made this educational film.

One may watch the film at http://www.avgeeks.com/pivot/entry.php?id=165. If anyone can help with this puzzle or if, in fact, you are Emil please email me at redjag2@gmail.com and "enlighten" me. One of the most wonderful benefits of the internet is the ability to connect with people we had a "connection" with so long ago.

Watch the movie! Life was so simple in the late '50's and is so complex in so many ways today. It is nice to go back and remember who we were. This exercise seems to help me be more "present" in today. Remember, life is short, eat dessert first!

Reminiscing,

Neelie

The Bat Mitzvah

This past week end we were in Chicago for the Bat Mitzvah of Emily Farrell. We are not related but I could not love her or her siblings or her Mother more. I think of her Mother, Liz, as my daughter. Therefore, Emily and her sisters are my granddaughters whether they want to be or not. I think they don't mind. After all, who doesn't need more love in their lives.

She was so amazing. The Temple is a conservative temple with an orthodox leaning. The men and women sit together, however, women are not allowed on the Bema (the altar) during the Sabbath. Emily's Bat Mitzvah had to be after sundown on Saturday. As such, she was able to pick what she wanted to read since the Torah is not read after sundown.

Emily chose to read the story of Esther. This is the story of a strong woman who puts her life on the line for the Jewish People. The story of Esther is not in the Torah. It is a separate book called the "Megillah" and is read on Purim. There is a hero...Mordecai. There is a villan...Haman. There is a heroine...Esther.

I thought it so appropriate that Emily read from the book of Esther because I believe Emily, like her sisters is a strong woman in the making. She will never sacrifice her femininity and will not have to. For a woman can be feminine and strong. In Yiddish there is a word "kvell". Loosely translated it means to be incredibly proud. I kvelled from Emily.

One would have thought Emily spoke in front of large groups of people all the time. She was so comfortable. It seems to me she should consider a career in public speaking. Of course, she is only 13 and one can only guess at where one will end up. Even those of us who are "grown up" are continually reinventing ourselves. So Emily can be anything she wants to be. The wonderful thing about growing up is exploring the many options available to young people these days.

She can even be President of the United States if she wants to! Her sisters, Dana and Jamie are so grown up, I couldn't believe how much they've changed, how incredibly beautiful they have become. I need to go to Chicago more often to see the people I love. They have grown up without me and I feel the loss. When I am in Florida, I miss them so very much. Yet when I see them, I miss them even more because I become aware of the very large hole in my heart where they are supposed to be.

Their Mother, Liz...who is the daughter I never had, is the love of my life. She couldn't mean more to me if I had given birth to her. She is the daughter of my heart and she fills it with her love. I am very blessed and fortunate enough to know how blessed I am. I thank G-d every day for bringing these wonderful women into my life and allowing me to share their lives. My greatest wish is for them to be who they want, to continue to be strong and never settle for less than they deserve.

It was a great weekend in Chicago, albeit much too short. Next time I'll stay a little longer...just as long as it's not winter.

Waiting for next time,
Neelie

The Bailout

One wonders how many of you feel the way we do? Isn't this proposed bailout simply rewarding CEO's who took outrageous salaries and were inept stewards of the ships they were sailing? Who were greedy beyond words, who were all friends and contributors to our fiscally irresponsible President. Who protected these men as their billion dollar companies were going under? How about many of our congressmen and senators.

Would you reward your child for misbehaving? How about if your child stole money from you...would you then reward him/her with a "get out of jail free card". What if you were in business for yourself? If your company had to declare bankruptcy, you would have to turn all of your assets over to a receiver. Do you think your government would have any hand in "bailing you out"? Not so much!

How about Angelo Mozillo the former CEO Of Countrywide Financial. This was the one of the 1st of the mortgage houses that fell. They were also one of the greediest, charging exorbitant closing costs that were added on to the mortgage of people who truly did not qualify for the house they bought. Through spiffy negotiations with mortgage brokers they bought their dream house. They bought the "american dream", even though they didn't truly have the means to pay back their debt.

Mr. Mozillo was CEO of Countrywide Financial (the nation's largest independent mortgage lender) for 10 years. As CEO his average salary for 6 years was $66.4 Million. Not a bad piece of change to take home...however, Mr. Mozillo drove Countrywide Financial into the ground. The Company, when it was ready to go belly up, was bought by Bank of America for $4 Billion. "The rest of the story" as Paul Harvey would say...when Bank of America bought the bankrupt company, Mr. Mozillo made over $100 Million.

I would say that was a very good payday for Mr. Mozillo! Pity Mr. and Mrs. America got the shaft...but, oh well, he's living high on the hog. If we ran our business that way we'd just go broke, there wouldn't be anyone to step in and help us. Remember, the only time a bank will lend you money is when you don't need it.

We could go on and name all the greedy CEO's that got us into this mess, as well as those in Congress that knew what was happening, but kept quiet because they were paid to keep quiet. All in all, this is incredibly sad and once again the American taxpayer...Mr. and Mrs. America, their children, their grandchildren and probably their great-grandchildren are going to get stuck with bill and we won't even get a kiss.

NO BAILOUT,
Neelie