Living

I heard a Kenny Chesney song the other day. The song could have been written from my blog. It's called, "Don't Blink". I'm certain that somewhere in my blog I've written that. I know I say it all the time to young women and men who have small children with them or a baby.

I always say, don't blink. For when you do, life just flashes by. I'm certain that somewhere I wrote about my girlfriend Renee. We have been friends since we were 11 years old. I won't tell you how many years that is, but dinosaurs were walking the earth when we met.

She and I were sitting in my mother's kitchen, both with new babies in our laps...we were all of 20 years old. Renee said, "you know 10 years ago we were 10 and 10 years from now we will be 30...can you believe that". Well, we both blinked and life has flashed by so quickly our babies are in their 40's, while she and I remain in our 20's.

There are moments when one looks back on one's life and it feels like a dream because it has all gone so quickly. Don't blink. I remember another time in my mother's kitchen...it was her 30th birthday and she was so depressed that she was no longer in her 20's. She looked at me and said, "just wait, you will understand when you hit 30". I didn't understand when I was 30 for I have been grateful for every birthday...it beats the alternative.

My mom is now 82 and beautiful. She is possibly more beautiful than she ever has been. I would like to say she is more serene, but one can't have everything. She is who she is and may she never change. It just doesn't seem fair that when we finally become comfortable with who we are, our bodies are falling apart.

I love to walk around naked. My husband calls me "the naked Contessa" because I frequently am completely naked with jewelry on. Oh, of course, I'm getting ready to go out. The other night he looked at my naked body (believe me, it's not so beautiful) but he thinks so. Love does that,
it allows us to look a the person we love and truly see them with rose colored glasses. We don't see their wrinkles or that they've aged. We only see the person we love.

The only problem with my walking around naked is that my breasts are not where they used to be...high and proud. What's most amazing, is when I had a beautiful body I wouldn't think of walking naked through my home...I just didn't have enough confidence. But today, with age, I have all the confidence one could possibly hope for. I believe I am beautiful even though I don't have the face and figure I had in my 20's, 30's and 40's.

Age does that for us...it seems to boost our self esteem. Such a shame that as young people we are always so worried about other people and how they view us. Then we get to an age where we just don't care what other people think...it's very liberating.

So, living is good. Experience is better and we only acquire it by living. So live every day as if it is your last. When you say "I love you" mean it. Apologize, don't be too proud. Count your blessings and not what you don't have. Most of all, love yourself. Because in the end, we are all we have.

Living every day,
Neelie